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Dating and Preparing for Marriage (Part 4) - Qualities of a Good Husband and Wife

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For a master copy of the outline, click here: Dating and Preparing For Marriage

To listen to the previous sermon in the series, click here: Part 3
To listen to the next sermon in the series, click here: Part 5

ix. Patience
a. Patience - 1. a. The suffering or enduring (of pain, trouble, or evil) with calmness and composure; the quality or capacity of so suffering or enduring. b. Forbearance, longsuffering, longanimity under provocation of any kind; esp. forbearance or bearing with others, their faults, limitations, etc. c. The calm abiding of the issue of time, processes, etc.; quiet and self-possessed waiting for something; ‘the quality of expecting long without rage or discontent’
b. Is the person easily irritated?
c. Do they get road rage every time someone pulls out in front of them or drives too slowly?
d. How does he deal with pain or sickness?
e. How does he react when his plans are thwarted?
f. Is he content with what he has? (Heb 13:5).
g. Does he get angry quickly and easily? (Jam 1:19-20; Pro 12:16; Pro 14:17,29; Pro 25:28; Ecc 7:9)
h. Charity suffereth long (1Co 13:4) and endureth all things (1Co 13:7); in other words, charity is patient.
i. Endure v. - II. To last; to suffer continuously. 3. trans. To undergo, bear, sustain (continuous pain, opposition, hardship, or annoyance); properly, to undergo without succumbing or giving way.
j. Charity is not easily provoked; in other words, charity is patient (1Co 13:5).
x. Compassion and mercy
a. Is the person quick to judge? (Jam 2:13)
b. Do they forgive and forget? (Eph 4:32; Mat 18:33,35)
c. Do they make a mountain out of a molehill over every word that is spoken? (Ecc 7:21-22)
d. Does he overlook and cover sins when it's possible and proper to do so? (Pro 19:11; Pro 10:12; Pro 17:9; 1Pe 4:8).
xi. Kindness and gentleness
a. Charity is kind (1Co 13:4).
b. A fundamental characteristic of a Christian should be kindness (Col 3:12; 2Pe 1:7).
c. Gentleness is a fruit of the Spirit (Gal 5:22).
d. Is the person gentle and easy to be intreated? (Jam 3:17)
xii. Truth seeking
a. A virtuous person is a seeker of truth.
b. God is a God of truth (Deu 32:4; Psa 31:5).
(i) God's word is truth (Joh 17:17).
(ii) We must worship God in spirit and in truth (Joh 4:24).
(iii) Jesus Christ is the truth (Joh 14:6).
(iv) Therefore, a person who is not a truth seeker will not be a diligent seeker of God, God's word, God's worship, and God's Son.
c. We are exhorted by God to buy the truth (Pro 23:23).
d. A person who is willing to sell all that they have to buy the truth will find the kingdom of God (Mat 13:44-46).
e. Every Christian should desire a spouse whom they can love in the truth (2Jo 1:1).
B. Qualities in men.
i. A man is the head (leader) in a marriage (Eph 5:22-24), so when considering a dating relationship with a man which could lead to marriage, you want to make sure he is a good and benevolent leader.
a. A wife must be subject to her husband in everything (Eph 5:24), so make sure that he exhibits good judgment in life in general.
b. Look for a man like Abraham who will command his children and his household (Gen 18:19).
c. The last thing a godly woman should want is a limp-wristed, weak man for a husband.
d. Make sure that his strong leadership is mixed with self-sacrificial love and (Eph 5:25) and a desire to honor and cherish his wife (Eph 5:28-29; 1Pe 3:7).
e. Pay attention to his dad and see if he is the head of his wife and family, or if he is weak, hen-pecked, pathetic pushover.
f. Remember the saying: like father, like son; therefore beware.
ii. A husband is supposed to be the provider for his family (1Ti 5:8).
a. Find out what he does for a living and whether he has sufficient means to provide for a wife, and at least the potential to eventually provide for a family.
b. Pay attention to his work ethic and how he spends his money (more on that later).
iii. A father is supposed to bring up his children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord (Eph 6:4; Psa 78:4-8).
a. First of all, pay attention to see if he even knows the scriptures himself, else how is he going to train up the children in them.
b. Then find out if he thinks it is primarily the father's responsibility to teach the children the ways of the Lord, or if he thinks that it can be left up to their mother, pastor, or teachers to do so.
C. Qualities in women.
i. A wife is to be submissive and subject to her husband (Eph 5:22,24; 1Pe 3:1).
a. A wife should be obedient to her husband (Tit 2:5; 1Pe 3:6).
b. A wife should reverence her husband (Eph 5:33).
c. Therefore, when dating a woman, pay close attention to see if she has a submissive attitude toward a potential husband.
d. Do you find yourself asking for her permission when you want to do something.
e. Watch to see if she is respectful of men in general, or if she has a feminazi streak in her.
f. Watch her mother and see if she wears the pants in her marriage; if so, her daughter may be inclined to do the same thing.
ii. A wife is supposed to bear children and be a keeper at home (1Ti 5:14; Tit 2:5).
a. If the woman you are dating currently has a career because she is single and needs to provide for herself, then find out if she intends to maintain a career when married and especially when children come.
b. Find out if she wants children and wants to stay home to raise them.
c. Find out if she likes to cook and if she keeps a clean and neat house.
iii. Women should be of a meek and quiet spirit (1Pe 3:4).
a. Is the girl you are dating meek and quiet, or loud, stubborn, and clamorous (Pro 7:11; Pro 9:13).
b. Would she be a woman whose attitude would make you pleased, or ashamed (Pro 12:4).
iv. Women should dress modestly (1Ti 2:9).
a. On a date does she dress like a godly woman or a harlot? (Pro 7:10)
(i) Does she wear shirts that show her cleavage?
(ii) Does she wear dresses, skirts, or shorts which show her thighs?
(iii) Doe she wear clothes that are generally seductive looking?
b. Is she all about her outward appearance? (1Pe 3:3)
(i) Does she wear a lot of makeup?
(ii) Does it take her two hours of preparation to leave the house?

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