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Marriage (Part 2)

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For a master copy of the outline and the other sermons in the series, click here: Marriage.

To listen to or watch the previous sermon in the series, click here: Part 1.
To listen to or watch the next sermon in the series, click here: Part 3.

Marriage

V. Since God created marriage, He also regulates the relationship within marriage.
1. The role and responsibilities of the wife.
A. We will start with the wife because God starts with the wife (Eph 5:22-33; Col 3:18-19; 1Pe 3:1-7).
B. Wives are to submit to their own husbands (Eph 5:22; Col 3:18).
i. Submit - v. I. 1. refl. and intr. To place oneself under the control of a person in authority or power; to become subject, surrender oneself, or yield to a person or his rule, etc.
ii. Control - n. 1. a. The fact of controlling, or of checking and directing action; the function or power of directing and regulating; domination, command, sway.
iii. Check - v. IV. To restrain, control. 13. (fig. from 3.) To stop (action, growth, exhibition of feeling, and the like); to stay the course of; to repress, restrain.
iv. Wives are to submit to their own husbands (Eph 5:22; Col 3:18).
a. It doesn't say "wives, submit yourselves unto husbands".
b. Each husband will have a different leadership style and different rules and standards he sets for his wife.
c. Each wife must submit to the authority of her husband, not another woman's husband who may have different rules or ideas.
v. Wives are supposed to submit to their husbands as unto the Lord (Eph 5:22).
a. As - I. Of quantity or degree. 1. a. With antecedent as:…in which degree, to what extent. Expressing with antecedent as, the Comparative of Equality.
b. A woman should submit to the Lord by keeping His commandments which is how she shows God that she loves him (Joh 14:15).
1) The Lord's commandments aren't grievous (1Jo 5:3) and neither should be her husband's.
2) Nothing in God's word is froward or perverse (Pro 8:8), and neither should there be any such thing in a husband's rule.
3) If a husband requires something of this wife which God forbids, or if he forbids her something which God requires, she must obey God rather than her husband (Act 5:29).
vi. Wives are supposed to submit to their husbands as it is fit in the Lord (Col 3:18).
a. Fit - 1. a. Well adapted or suited to the conditions or circumstances of the case, answering the purpose, proper or appropriate.
b. The wife should submit to her husband as long as it is proper and appropriate according to the scriptures.
C. The husband is the head of the wife (Eph 5:23).
i. Head - III. 25. A person to whom others are subordinate; a chief, captain, commander, ruler, leader, principal person, head man.
ii. Commander - 1. One who commands. a. One who commands or orders anything.
iii. Captain - I. 1. a. One who stands at the head of others and leads them, or exercises authority over them; a headman, chief, or leader.
iv. The husband is the captain and commander of the wife and family.
a. Abraham was a prime example of such who would command his children and his household (Gen 18:19).
b. Lot, on the other hand, was not viewed by his family as the head of his household, but as a joke (Gen 19:14).
v. A head is a king (1Sa 15:17).
a. A king ought not to be disrespectfully contradicted (Ecc 8:4; Ecc 10:20; 1Pe 2:17).
b. He should rather be intreated (Pro 25:15).
c. Husbands, a king should take admonishment when it is deserved (Ecc 4:13).
vi. The husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church (Eph 5:23).
a. Even - II. 6. Exactly, precisely, ‘just’. Now chiefly arch. after Bible use, and suggesting some notion of 9. a. of manner; often followed by as, thus, so.
b. Exactly - 1. In a perfect manner, perfectly; to a perfect degree, to perfection; completely.
c. Precisely - 1. Definitely; entirely, absolutely.
d. This verse says that the husband is the head of the wife exactly (perfectly, completely) and precisely (definitely, entirely, absolutely) as Christ is the head of the church.
e. As the church is to obey its head, Christ (2Co 10:5), so wives ought to obey their husbands (Tit 2:5).
1) Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord (1Pe 3:6).
A. Lord - I. A master, ruler. 1. A master of servants; the male head of a household. 2. a. One who has dominion over others as his subjects, or to whom service and obedience are due; a master, chief, prince, sovereign. Now only rhetorical. Also lord and master. Also, a husband
B. This was not an outward show of submission, but rather something Sara said in her heart (Gen 18:12).
2) Christian women should imitate Sara.
3) Like Sara, though they should obey their husbands, they should not be put into such a state of fear by their husbands that causes them to not be able to think for themselves (1Pe 3:6).
A. Amazement - 1. The condition of being mentally paralyzed, mental stupefaction, frenzy.
B. Stupefaction - 1. The action of stupefying or state of being stupefied; numbness, torpor, or insensibility, of body or mind.
4) No woman should ever be treated in such a way that she can't think for herself.
f. As the church is to reverence Christ (Heb 12:28), so wives must reverence their husbands (Eph 5:33).
1) Reverence - 1. trans. To salute (a person) with deep respect; to show respect for (one) by bowing, kneeling, etc.; to make obeisance to. b. To treat with respect or deference. c. To esteem; to value highly.
2) A wife should therefore respect, esteem, and value her husband highly.
3) A wife should never insult, make fun of, or speak ill of her husband in public or to other people privately.
g. As the church views Christ as her Savior, so ought wives to view their husbands as their saviors (not spiritually, of course) (Eph 5:23).
D. The principle of the headship of the husband over the wife was even recognized in the pagan empire of the Medes and the Persians (Est 1:10-22).
i. When Queen Vashti disobeyed the commandment of her husband King Ahasuerus, they realized that she had set a precedent of despising her husband which other women in the kingdom would follow (Est 1:15-18).
ii. Take heed, Christian women, that you are not setting a precedent which other women, especially younger women, will follow.
E. Wives should be subject to their husbands as the church is subject to Christ (Eph 5:24).
i. Subject - adj. I. 1. That is under the dominion or rule of a sovereign, or a conquering or ruling power; owing allegiance or obedience to a sovereign ruler or state, a temporal or spiritual lord, or other superior.
ii. Wives should be subject to their husbands in every thing (Eph 5:24).
iii. Every - 1. Used to express distributively the sense that is expressed collectively by all.
iv. Everything - 1. a. A combination of every (sense 1) and thing....hence it is the current substitute for all (absol.), all things,...
v. Like the church is subject to Christ in all things (Mat 28:20), wives ought to be subject to their husbands in all things, so long as those things are not in contradiction to God's law.
F. Wives are even supposed to be in subjection to their own husbands, even if the husband is an unbeliever (1Pe 3:1).
i. Subjection - 1. The act, state, or fact of exercising lordship or control; dominion, domination, control.
ii. If a Christian woman is married to an unbelieving husband, though he may not be won by the word (witnessing the gospel to him), he may be won by the chaste conversation of his wife (1Pe 3:1-2 c/w 1Co 7:13-14,16).
a. Conversation - 1. The action of living or having one's being in a place or among persons. Also fig. of one's spiritual being.
b. Chaste - adj. 1. Pure from unlawful sexual intercourse; continent, virtuous. (Of persons, their lives, conduct, etc.)
c. Continent - adj. 1. Self-restraining, or marked by self-restraint, esp. in relation to bodily passions, appetites, or indulgences; temperate.
d. Virtuous - adj. 2. a. Possessing or showing virtue in life and conduct; acting with moral rectitude or in conformity with moral laws; free from vice, immorality, or wickedness; good, just, righteous. b. Of women. Freq. = chaste a.
iii. A wife's godly, self-restraining actions and attitude toward her husband can do much more to bring about his conversion than the continual preaching of the gospel to him by an immoral, rebellious wife ever would.
iv. All Christian women should maintain a godly, chaste, and virtuous manner of life at all times, not just those who have unbelieving husbands.
G. Wives should be concerned with how they can please their husbands (1Co 7:34).
i. A wife's number one priority (except for God) should be her husband (and the husband's should be his wife - more on that later).
ii. A woman's children should come after her husband.
iii. Too many women (and men sometimes) are so wrapped up in their kids that when the kids are finally gone, they have no close relationship with their husbands.
H. Wives should provide for the sexual needs of their husbands (1Co 7:3-5).
i. This is a commandment of God, not an optional suggestion.
ii. A man's wife should provide his sexual satisfaction and no other (Pro 5:15-20).
iii. Withholding of sex should never be used as a method of punishment or revenge on the part of a wife or husband.